Pretty Cure  Balls to the Wall!
by CureSnark
Summary: #Fanseries# When Space Nazis attack Earth, it's up to the worryingly amoral Pretty Cure duo of Hayase and Kaede to fight the good fight, and beat the Nazi scourge! The newest, most ineptly written Pretty Cure epic begins now!
1. Chapter 1

There is, they say, a darkness so suffocating, that light itself is extinguished by bleakness. It is doubtful that they –whoever they are- had ever experienced this darkness, but had they ever seen this place, they would have found even their seemingly bombastic descriptions sadly lacking.

For in this place were gathered men and women whose evil knew no earthly bounds, who could kick a kitten just by looking at it. And it wasn't as if it was a mangy kitten. No.

It was cute.

"Gentlemen," uttered the shadowy figure seated like a king, upon a dreadful throne of skulls, "Report."

"All iz proceeding as planned. The Garden of Stars has all but fallen," answered a slender, hunched figure.

"Of the forty Star Keys needed, only two remain outside our grasp," added a short, muscular figure.

"Oh ho," chuckled the seated figure, "And where are they?"

"Earth," answered the slender figure, a hint of glee in his voice.

Smiling sadistically, the white glint of his teeth flickered as the seated figure issued an order, "Dear Dietricha, I believe a little light would do this special occasion well."

"Jawohl. Mein fuhrer," nodded the sole female figure of the group.

With but a wave of her hand, countless touches sprung to life. The darkness slithered away from the flickering flames, as shadows danced across four magnificent pillars surrounding the conclave. Adorning the pillars were giant red banners, glowing an unearthly glow as the flames illuminated the dreadful symbol emblazoned upon them.

Swastika!

"Zas Mein Fuhrer believe ze vill be a chance ve may have to face Pretty Cure vance again?" inquired the slender figure.

His moustache glowing amidst the flames, the Fuhrer smiled indignantly, "We have faced and defeated the Legendary Warriors before. Even if Earth has its own champions, they will be of no consequence. There is none in the universe who can oppose us!"

Confident in his power, the malevolent Fuhrer raised his right arm, and it was as if all the evil of this place had suddenly gathered into this single, outstretched limb.

Terror.

Anguish.

Fear.

Hatred.

Despair.

No manner of evil absent. No vice unaccounted. The flames still burnt, but it was as if all it's light and warmth were but illusion. And yet, in this wretched place, the union of villains all raised their arms in imitation of the Fuhrer.

"SIEG HEIL!"

And the hall reverberated with the booming voice of Hell itself.

Far away from the darkness, in a quiet Japanese harbour town, a girl and her twin brother sat under a tree at the top of the hill, overlooking the entire town, bathed in the morning sun as the cool sea breeze gently caressed them.

"Hey Genji, I've been thinking," mused the girl, her short brown hair dancing gracefully in the wind, "Y'know how they say laziness pays off now, but hard work pays off later?"

"The moral there is that the later payoff is much greater, Hayase," answered Genji.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. But, if ya think about it, if I were to consistently be lazy, the accumulated payoffs would probably outweigh the one time later payoff. Also, I could always put it in savings and let it grow. Free float, yo."

-  
OP: _**"Big Cure! PreCure!"**_by Badass Manly PreCure Idol Unite!  
-

The halls of the local high school were empty. In an hour, they will be filled with the hustle and bustle of the school day, but for the moment, all was quiet. Save for sound of footsteps, and the striking of bamboo coming from the gym.

Today was morning practice for the girls kendo team.

In the center of the gym, a group of girls had crowded around two of their compatriots, locked in heated battle.

Their feet shuffled at a rapid pace as the two armoured combatants attempted to outmaneuver each other.

Fast like a fearsome gale, the two dashed around each other. One strike was all would take to end this warriors' duel! One decisive blow!

The glare of their eyes was clear, even from behind their helmets, as the blades of both girls clashed against each other, impact after impact when suddenly-

"MEN!" screamed one of the girls, as she brought down her bamboo blade at full force onto the head of her adversary. The vary hall echoed as the blade struck true, it's wielder gliding past her vanquished foe.

Satisfied with the strike, the adjudicator nodded and raised his flag, indicating victory had gone to the girl. Almost instantaneously, the gym exploded in cheers as the girls crowded the victor.

"Kaede-senpai! That was awesome!" yelled one high pitched fan.

"You're the best, Kaede-same!" added another, obviously not intending to be outdone.

Unfazed by the crowd of fans around her, Kaede removed her helmet, her black, shoulder length hair glistening with sweat, "Right. Now which of you brown nosers wants to earn my favour by buying me a drink?"

-  
Today's Episode: **Set the Heavens Alight! Shine, Pretty Cure!  
**-**  
**  
A few hours later, the once empty school was now bustling with life. Over in the school fields, the athletes of tomorrow were training their minds and bodies, honing the skills that would bring them and their country glory in the international stage.

But heroism was not to be found in the school field.

No, our heroine was busy hiding in the darkness of the storage room next to the field.

"Uh…sis, why are we doing this?" inquired Genji, evidently bored from sitting in a storage room for the better part of an hour.

Hayase, evidently less bored from doing the same, sighed and answered indignantly, "Genji. What is the name of our school club?"

Sighing himself, Genji answered, "The Society for the Avoidance and Effective Non-Compliance with Mandatory School Sporting Activities through Intellectual Argument, Civil Disobedience and all Manner of Process, Legal and Ethical or Otherwise."

"And what are the goals of our society?" inquired Hayase, despite knowing the answer full well.

"The avoidance and effective non-compliance with mandatory school sporting activities through intellectual argument, civil disobedience and all manner of process, legal and ethical or otherwise," answered Genji, in seemingly perfect monotone.

"Bingo! And don't forget Genji, your grades aren't great, so if you wanna pass, you're gonna need the extracurricular credits," said Hayase, flashing her brother a smile and a thumbs up.

Scratching his head, Genji asked, "So…I'm going to get extra marks, for deliberately skipping class. How on Earth did you manage to convince the principal to approve this club?"

"Huh? What do you mean?" asked Hayase, seemingly unaware of the logical conundrum her brother had raised when her attention was drawn by a mysterious, shining object from behind the myriad dusty boxes of the storage room, "Oooh! Something shiny!"

Rummaging through the boxes, Hayase dug out the shiny object in question; a silver device, vaguely shaped like a mobile phone and adorned with pretty little hearts and flowers. "Hey cool! Free stuff!" exclaimed Hayase, "Genji! Wanna see if we can find any other cool stuff round here?"

"No."

"Fine, suit yourself then," pouted Hayase, before throwing herself once more into the business of petty theft.

Genji watched his sister in boredom some time before his eyes lit up as he heard his salvation ringing in the distance. "Hey sis, the bell just rung, I'm going home now, k?" he said, as he dusted himself off and left.

Not replying, Hayase continued scouring the room for more stuff to snag, until no box was left unturned.

"Huh. That was disappointing," moaned the girl as she surveyed her handiwork. She had easily spent almost three hours in the storage room, and the sun was already setting. And all she had to show for it was another phone-like device, similar in design, but golden in colour.

Fiddling with them for a while, Hayase's face eventually turned to disappointment, "Hmm…doesn't look like they can actually call anyone…huh. Looks like they're just silly toys…now that's a let down."

Sighing, she turned around to leave the storage room and flung the two devices over her shoulder, when suddenly, she heard a pitched voice cry out.

"OW!"

"What the?" muttered Hayase, before turning around to see two fluffy, teddy bear-like creatures, messaging their heads in pain.

"Hey! Don't throw us around like that, asshole! Buu!" yelled the yellow creature.

"Owies…my head. Fuu," moaned the white creature.

"Huh. Phones that can turn into talking toys. Cool!" exclaimed Hayase, a big smile now plastered on her face.

Grabbing the two creatures, she shoved them into her bag, "Hehe, wait till Genji get's a load of this!"

"Omph! Gef youf handph off mah phace! Buu!" shouted the yellow creature before being forced into Hayase's bag.

Thus the girl finally left the storage room. Mysterious creatures in her bag, their protests blissfully ignored.

Happy with her new acquisition, Hayase practically skipped home, her blissful humming drowning out the desperate cries of the kidnapped creatures.

Unbeknownst to her, watchful eyes were closely following her from the shadows. For the first time, true evil had come into her life. The cries of the creatures had drawn it here, and now, their fates were intrinsically linked.

Suddenly, the very skies darkened! Gone was the warmth and glow of the evening sun, in it's place a chilling wind and the howl of hungry wolves!

"Whoa, it got dark quick," mused Hayase, unaware of danger fast approaching.

Then, without warning, lightning struck! A deadly bolt of electricity tore through the ground mere meters in front of Hayase, throwing her off her feet as the sky rumbled with deafening thunder!

But this was no mere lightning. This was the Harbinger of Darkness. As the smoke cleared, a tall, slender figure rose slowly from the ashes.

Clad in a long coat of darkest black, with a matching wide brimmed hat, his silk gloved hand clutched a long, menacing ivory cane, "Good evening, little fraulein," said the figure, the sadism palpable in his voice.

"W-what on Earth…?" muttered Hayase, just barely getting back on her feet.

"Oh zear…vhere unt mine manners? Allow me to introduce mineself. I, am Emmerich Herman of ze Gestapo," said the man, as his mouth curled into a twisted smile, "Now, zear fraulein, I care not about who you are. Vhat I care about, iz ze contents of your bag. Most particularly, ze two escapees from ze Garden of Stars."

"NO!" screamed one of the creatures, as she forced her way out of Hayase's bag, her white fur frazzled from the ordeal, "That man is evil! Fuu!"

"Really?" inquired Hayase.

"He's a Nazi, dumbass! Buu!" interjected the other creature from somewhere within the bag.

"You musn't give us to him! If you do, all is doomed! Fuu!" pleaded the white creature.

Hayase pondered for a moment before asking, "Wait, define 'all'. Like does that include me, or just you guys. Because if it's the latter, I guess I could live with that."

"By 'all' we mean the universe! Fuu!" yelled the white creature, her desperation now obvious.

"Hmm, that would kinda suck," concurred Hayase.

"Are you done, fraulein? Might I remind you, I vill not hesitate to kill you, if you zu not cooperate," threatened Herman, as he advanced menacingly towards the girl.

"Hey dumbass! Pick up the pace and RUN! Buu!" yelled the increasingly rude yellow creature.

And for reasons she herself will probably never figure out, Hayase did just that. Turning around, she bolted as fast as she could from the approaching Nazi.

Just down the street, Kaede was walking home, the frustration evident on her face as she was still being followed by one of her obsessive fans.

"Wow, Kaede-sama! Did I tell you that you were amazing at kendo practice this morning?" exclaimed the fangirl, her eyes nearly twinkling.

"Only about twenty times, Akane," sighed Kaede, not even looking at the source of her annoyance.

"Well, not even two hundred times would be sufficient to express how awesome you are!" continued Akane, clearly incapable of getting the hint.

Just as Kaede was about to respond, her eyes spotted a peculiar sight in the distance; a girl, one of her classmates in fact, running at full speed with a trench coated man in hot pursuit.

"GETOUTTATHEWAY!" yelled Hayase before crashing headfirst into Kaede.

Struggling to get up, Kaede berated the girl, "Ugh…hey! Watch where you-" before being interrupted as the shadow of Herman loomed over her.

"Hmm, onlookers vould complicate matters. No matter zhen, I vill simply have zu kill you as vell," declared Herman.

"Crap! Crap! Crap! Rapist!" thought Kaede. Her brain working in overdrive, she formulated a plan of escape; throw something at the man, and while he's distracted, run for it! Thus, she grabbed the most expandable object in hand, and flung it at Herman with all her might.

"Akane missile! GO!" Kaede yelled as she grabbed Akane by the arm and propelled her straight at Herman!

"Kaede-same touched me!" exclaimed Akane, but her triumph was short lived, as with but a flick of his hand, Herman summoned an unseen force that blew Akane off her feet, sending her tumbling down the street, out cold.

"I need better human shields," sighed Kaede.

"Enough of zis charade! Prepare to die!" yelled Herman, evil energy gathering within him.

"Fuupu! We don't have a choice anymore! We've gotta do it! Buu!" yelled the yellow creature in Hayase's bag.

"Ok, Buupu!" answered the white creature, "Hayase! I need you to do exactly as I say! Fuu!"

"Huh? How do you no my name? And why did you guys turn back into phones?" asked Hayase, holding the two devices.

"No time for that, Fuu! Just give one of us to that other girl, and we'll lead you from there! Fuu!"

Following the talking phone's orders, Hayase was just about to give the silver device to Kaede when she remembered that the yellow was more annoying, and opted to give her that one instead. Our protagonist, ladies and gentlemen!

"So Nazis and now talking phones. My life has jumped the shark," moaned Kaede as she examined her golden device.

"Ok, what now?" asked Hayase.

"Just follow your hearts, dumbass! Buu!"

As if by instinct, the girls clasped their hands together, the surprise evident on their faces, as they shouted in unison, "Dual souls ignite!"

The two girls were then enveloped in a brilliant flash as their school uniforms magically disappeared!

Hayase looked on in amazement as her body became clothed in a brilliant white dress, highlighted with silver and pale blue. Her skirt fluttered in the wind as a blue ribbon appeared out of thin air and tied itself onto her chest, completing the ensemble. In turn, the silver device attached itself firmly to her belt buckle.

Kaede went through much the same process, but instead of Hayase's white, silver and blue outfit, her's was a brilliant yellow, highlighted by deep red and gold. Similarly, her device hung tightly from her belt as well.

"The Glorious Sun that banishes the night! Cure Solar!" yelled Kaede, striking a pose which would have been cool if not for the sheer confusion on her face.

"The Shimmering Moon that ushers in the light! Cure Luna!" added Hayase, also striking a pose.

"Servants of Evil, harbingers of the night!" continued Kaede.

"You stand before the Brightest Light!" finished Hayase.

"What…the hell was that?" inquired Kaede, confusion still etched upon her face. In marked contrast to her, Hayase seemed far more enthusiastic regarding current events, "Awesome! I'm like a superhero! Ok then! HERE I COME!" she yelled as she charged towards her foe.

Clenching her fist as tight as she possibly could, Cure Luna swung directly at Herman's face, the power and impact of which…did absolutely nothing.

"So zis iz ze power of ze Legendary Warriors? Pathetic," muttered Herman as he flicked his hand, the force of which propelled Cure Luna into the pavement with great force.

"Oww…." Moaned Cure Luna, "Hey! What gives, I thought I'd have superpowers!" she protested.

"That's not how your Luna power works! Your power is supportive! You can create force fields to shield Cure Solar! Fuu!"

"Yeah! Leave the fighting to us! Buu!"

"Great. So do I punch him now?" asked Cure Solar, the apathy evident in her voice.

"BUU!"

"Here goes then…" muttered Solar as she leapt towards Herman and kicked him with full force. Unlike Luna's earlier efforts, this attack took Herman clean off his feat, knocking the wind out of him.

"Now! While he's down! Use your special attack! Buu!"

"Eh, might as well get it over with," said Solar, scratching her head.

Much like how they transformed earlier, the girls instinctively clasped their hands tightly together. Energy flowing through every orifice of their bodies, Cure Luna yelled, "Guiding light of the Moon! Become as a beacon in the dark!"

"Unending flames of the Sun! Usher in the New Day!" yelled Cure Solar.

As if by command, vast amounts of energy emanated from the two girls. The force creating a fierce gust of wind, keeping Herman off balance as he did all he could to avoid simply been blown away by the great power before him!

Slowly, Cure Solar's hands began to glow violently, as the nigh limitless energy began to gather within her! Now! The time had come! Pretty Cures' ultimate attack! The great power of the sun made manifest in human hands! The light which will banish all evils!

And it's name is!

It's name is!

It's name is!

It's name is!

IT'S NAME IS!

**IT'S NAME IS!**

"Pretty Cure! SOLARION BUSTER!" screamed Solar, as she blasted a beam of pure energy straight at Herman, the blast of which knocking her, Luna and the unconscious Akane away!

The power of the Solarion Buster was incalculable. Evil had finally been vanquish- No! What is this!

As the dust settled, the figure of the evil Emmerich Herman still stood, struggling as he grasped tightly onto his cane, "Ugh…s-so zis iz…ze power of P-Pretty Cure…" he mumbled, "…Y-you vin zis time, frauleins…b-but, vhen next v-ve meet…you vill not survive."

Struggling to stand up, Herman added one last threat, "Ve vill meet again fraulein…but for now, zhink of me vhen you look to ze night sky!" And with that, a lightning bolt struck Herman, and he vanished as quickly as he had appeared.

"Aww…I wanted to beat him up first!" pouted Hayase, "Eh, either way, that was cool! I wanna do it again!"

However, Hayase and Kaedes' moment of peace was short lived, as the gentle blue light of the moon suddenly turned a sickly red. Kaede and Hayase looked on in shock as a dreadful sign slowly materialized upon the face of the moon, its wickedness looming in the night sky.

Swastika!

-  
Ending: _**"Tsuyoki Mono Yo!"**_by True PreCure Impact! BttW Chapter!  
-

**Next Episode Preview**

HAYASE: Woo! We're superheroes now!  
KAEDE: W-what the hell just happened?  
HAYASE: Who cares! It was AWESOME!  
KAEDE: Ugh, I've got a headache…and someone needs to do something about that Swastika moon.  
HAYASE: Hey, who's that weird looking in the mask?

HAYASE & KAEDE: Next episode! "The Strongest Martial Art! Herr Mystico steps into the ring!"

KAEDE: Wait. Mystico? Oh dear god…

**Author's Notes:**

In regards to the opening song, it's meant to be sung to tune of the Big O opening theme, with these lyrics:

PreCure!

PreCure! PreCure! PreCure!

PreCure!

PreCure! PreCure! PreCure!

Balls to the wall, PreCure!

Beat up some Nazis!

Light the Sun and Moon, PreCure!

PreCure!

PreCure-e-e! PreCure!

PreCure!

PreCure!

PreCure!

PreCure!


	2. Chapter 2

"Ooh! I know! I could be Invisible Woman! Cause of y'know, the forcefields!"

"Hayase! Please, just listen! I need to explain the powers of Pretty Cure to you! Fuu!"

"Hey! Fuupy, was it? Help me come up with a superhero name!"

As the clock on the wall slowly edged to 1am in the morning, Hayase showed no signs of stopping. The girl had been in her room all night, trying to come up with new superhero names and costumes to go along with her newfound powers, much to the chagrin of the diminutive little creature called Fuupy, who was pleading desperately for Hayase to just shut up and listen.

Just a few hours ago, Hayase and her classmate, Kaneda Kaede, had been attacked by a man called Emmerich Herman. Claiming to be from the Gestapo, Herman assaulted the two girls, seeking to capture the creatures that Hayase had essentially kidnapped.

It was then that the girls awakened to the power of Pretty Cure, allowing them to fight off the merciless Nazi. However, the defeat of Herman did not spell peace for the newly christened Cures, for in his retreat, Herman left a dread reminder of the evils of the Fourth Reich; the unholy Swastika, emblazoned upon the very face of the Moon!

The red glare of the moon had since returned to a serene pale blue glow, but evanescent as the Swastika may have been, its message was clear and lasting; the Nazi scourge was out there.

Watching.

Waiting.

The time for battle would come once again.

-  
OP: _**"Big Cure! PreCure!"**_by Badass Manly PreCure Idol Unite!  
-

At the same time, Kaneda Kaede, the other half of Pretty Cure, was less than impressed with what she was hearing, "So let me get this straight, Hitler, is looking for you. _Adolf Hitler_, is hunting for a talking plushie."

"Hey! I'm no plushie asshole! Buu!" protested Buupy, "but yes, Hitler is looking for us. Buu."

Rolling her eyes, Kaede continued, "And he's got a castle in the Moon from which he's conducting his whole operations."

Buupy nodded solemnly.

"And here's the kicker," Kaede sighed, "I've gotta stop him by dressing up like an idiot and punching Nazis in the face."

"Hey! I don't pick the dress lady! Anyway, the important thing is that Hitler doesn't get the Star Keys! Fuupy and I are guarding one each! Buu!" proclaimed Buupy, looking proud of himself.

"That's right, those stupid keys. Run me by them again," said Kaede, in as cold a monotone as she could muster.

"The Star Keys are some of the most powerful artifacts in the universe! Buu! They allow their wielder to control the power of the stars themselves! If Hitler gathers all of them, he would be unstoppable! He'd be like awesome times kickass to the power of superfly! Buu!"

Letting out a long, exaggerated sigh, Kaede moaned, "Seriously, why the hell did you guys have to drag me into this crap? Couldn't that idiot girl have done this on her own?"

"Nope! The power of Pretty Cure requires two hearts to work in unison! And you just happened to be the only other person in the area! Buu!" said Buupy, snickering, "What? Are you telling me you're too pussy for the job, pussy?"

And then Kaede punched Buupy in the face.

-  
Today's Episode: **The Strongest Martial Art! Herr Mystico Enters the Ring!  
**-

The morning sun was shining brightly over Kurihara . In class 3-B however, the mood of the homeroom teacher, Kurihara Kazuhiro was anything but sunny.

"Kaneda! Wake up!" he yelled, throwing his fifth chalk this morning at the napping Kaede, "You too, Hanamura! This is Social Sciences class! NOT naptime!" he continued, throwing chalk number six at the also sleeping Hayase.

"Gah! Miserable little hellspawns, it's no wonder Kyosuke's classes always do better than mine. He gets all the good students, while I'm stuck with these degenerates!" Kazuhiro muttered to himself, his self pity painfully evident.

"You know what? You girls might think its funny, but social sciences is a very important subject! It's just as important as the maths my brother teachers! We drive the same car! So what if his wife's younger and more attractive than mine!" Kazuhiro declared to his students, only to be met with much snickering.

Infuriated, Kazuhiro yelled, "Shut up! Shut up, you little monsters! Kaneda! Hanamura! You two are responsible for all this miscreancy! Go stand outside in the hall and let the rest of us get back to work!"

Too sleepy and tired to mount any form of protest, the girls shambled out of the classroom.

"Hey," said Kaede, as the two stood out in the halls, "You're that girl who dragged me into that steaming pile of stupid last night, right?"

Scratching her head and yawning, Hayase asked, "Which steaming pile of stupid? The Nazis, or that time I stole the neighbour's dog? Because I think the dog was last week."

"Nazis."

"Oh! Oh! Yup! That was me!" answered Hayase, seemingly reenergized, "How cool was that! They had a moon Swastika and everything!"

Not amused by Hayase's enthusiasm, Kaede sarcastically muttered, "Yeah. Thanks for that. Because fighting Nazis is totally how I want to spend my evenings."

"Really? Personally, I would have preferred riding dinosaurs," said Hayase, "Oh! By the way! I was thinking, Pretty Cure is a pretty lame name, so we should totally come up with a new superhero team name! I was thinking we should be Batman and Robin!"

Sighing, Kaede deftly ignored her compatriot's suggestion, "So, where's your talking plushie?"

"I brought her with me! See?" said Hayase, as she produced a very ruffled looking Fuupy to show Kaede before stuffing her back in her pocket, "How bout yours?"

"Eh. The stupid thing was annoying me last night; I was trying to get some sleep but he kept whining about how I punched him earlier. So I gagged him. I think he's festering somewhere in my bag," said Kaede, a smile etched on her face for the first time this day.

"By the way, do you know why we got attacked by Nazis last night? I think Fuupy may have said something about it, but I forget," asked Hayase.

"…wait. You dragged me into all this, and you don't even know what for?" uttered Kaede in disbelief, "Good god, I can't believe my luck…well, apparently Hitler's living on the moon now, and he wants these Star Keys. And it just so happens those two idiot plushies are holding on to a couple of keys. So now we've gotta guard their asses."

"Anyway, what do you reckon about calling ourselves Batman and Robin? You didn't answer earlier," asked Hayase, having apparently glazed over poor Kaede's exposition.

"You…I think I hate you," proclaimed Kaede.

"I guess you can be Batman if it'll make you feel any better," conceded Hayase, diplomatically.

But before Kaede could respond, the head of the dread Kurihara-sensei slowly revealed itself from the crevice of the classroom, "Goddammit you kids! Keep quiet out there! The rest of us are studying _important _material!" yelled Kurihara, veins now evident on his forehead. "Bah! Kyosuke wouldn't have gotten his big promotion if he had to teach this class! Actually, I should probably get him to take these little bastards for maths one of these days; that'll wipe that smug smile off his face," muttered Kurihara-sensei as his head rescinded back into the classroom.

"So…do you want to be Batman then?" asked Hayase.

And for what must have been the fiftieth time that day, Kaede died a little inside.

After what seemed an eternity, school was finally over. Its halls of learning had fast descended into chaos, the rapid footsteps of hundreds of students, happy to finally go home for another day.

Kaede however, was less than happy.

In matters past, she had been forcibly conscripted in an intergalactic battle between fluffy mascots and space Nazis, led by an apparently not dead Adolf Hitler.

In matters present, she had just found out that she and Hayase lived close by, which thus explained why they were walking back home together. And as if walking back with one idiot wasn't enough, Asano Akane, kendo teammate, president of the Kaneda Kaede fanclub and serial stalker in training was also present.

"Hey Kaede-sama! I totally had an awesome dream last night! Wanna hear about it?" exclaimed Akane, whilst gleefully invading Kaede's personal space.

"No," flatly replied Kaede.

"But it was so awesome! I-I dreamt you touched me! It was the best dream ever! And then, I got so excited, dream me literally flew off into space! And then I had a dream blackout because it was so overwhelming!" proclaimed Akane, "Though I'm not really sure why I woke up on the streets this morning…or why I've got this huge bump on my head. Guess I sleep walk."

Her eyes lighting up, Hayase interjected, "Oh! Oh! Nope! You weren't sleep walking! We really were attacked by Space Naz-" but before she could finish, Kaede's fist flew straight into her face.

"Umph!" Hayase yelped.

"What Hayase meant to say was that yes, you most definitely were sleep walking. And everything was a dream. Also, I hate you," said Kaede, exercising her editorial mandate over Hayase's speech.

"Huh? But why would Hayase hate me?" asked Akane, wide eyed.

Kaede was about to respond with another fist when suddenly, a muscular figure leapt from the sky! His imposing shadow looming menacingly over the girls, the predator homed in on Akane.

With a mighty yell of his battle cry, "FRANKENSTEINER!" the figure locked his legs around Akane's neck and shoulder, and using the momentum from his leap, backflipped, catapulting the girl onto her back with a mighty thud!

Standing victoriously over his fallen 'foe', the shirtless figure, clad only in tight pants, wrestling boots and a face concealing mask emblazoned with a Swastika, pointed triumphantly to the sky and yelled, "Mein Fuhrer! Herr Mystico, has vanquished your dread foe, Pretty Cure! Now! Watch Herr Mystico, as he clobbers this vermin into a pulp, as a tribute to your greatness!"

Making good on his promise, Herr Mystico began to stomp violently on the bruised, beaten and unconscious body of Akane.

At that moment, as she watched the masked Nazi brutally assault a defenseless girl, what was long dormant in Kaede finally awoke; a heroic spirit! A fire in her that would burn evermore till the day injustice and evil was vanquished! Before her was a villain, and the power was in her hands to fight on behalf of the weak and the downtrodden!

But then she remembered it was only Akane.

Unfortunately for Kaede, just as she was about to walk back home to a peaceful afternoon, her unwanted partner in heroism yelled out, "Fiend! How dare you shatter the peace of this city! We, Batman and Robin, will tolerate your evil no more!"

"We're not Batman and Robin…" interjected Kaede, desperate to salvage whatever dignity she had left.

Pouting, Hayase conceded, "Fine. We, Batman and Batman, will tolerate your evil no more!"

Tired of Hayase's antics, Kaede informed the now likely confused Herr Mystico, "Look, you're attacking the wrong girl. We're Pretty Cure. Now can we just get this fight over with so that I can go home?"

"Huh? Really? Who is Herr Mystico killing then?" asked Herr Mystico, still stomping on Akane.

"I dunno," Kaede lied nonchalantly, as she grabbed a gagged Buupy from out of her school bag, preparing herself to transform.

Finally stopping his assault on poor Akane, Herr Mystico faced his new opponents and declared, "Pretty Cure! I commend you for revealing yourselves to Herr Mystico! However! He will spare you no mercy! Have at you!"

"Ha! You are the one who will not be spared mercy!" countered Hayase as she clasped hands with a sighing Kaede, "Dual Souls Ignite!"

Enveloped in a brilliant flash of light, the girls felt a great surge of energy as their magic clothes weaved themselves around them.

"The Glorious Sun that banishes the night! Cure Solar!" declared Kaede, clad in a dress of brilliant yellow, highlighted by deep red, gold and white.

"The Shimmering Moon that ushers in the light! Cure Luna!" added Hayase, clothed in her flowing white, silver and blue dress.

Pointing dramatically towards Herr Mystico, Kaede said, "Servants of Evil, harbingers of the Night!"

"You stand before the Brightest Light!" finished Hayase.

"Hmm, so this is the Pretty Cure that defeated Herman? Herr Mystico is not impressed," taunted the Nazi luchador.

"Yeah, well screw you!" shouted Cure Solar as she threw a punch straight towards her foe.

"Fool! Herr Mystico sees through your moves!" yelled Herr Mystico. Blocking Cure Solar's punch, he wrapped his right arm around Solar's head, tucking it under his armpit. Hooking Cure Solar's right leg with his left arm, Herr Mystico lifted the girl high into the air, "Behold! The power of Herr Mystico's Fisherman DDT!" Falling backwards onto his back, Herr Mystico drove Solar's head straight into the pavement, stunning her.

Before Cure Luna could even call out to her wounded compatriot, Herr Mystico dashed straight towards her. "Be careful! Fuu!" yelled out Fuupy just in time for Luna to enact a forcefield around herself seconds before Herr Mystico's fist connected.

Surveying the forcefield that was blocking his attacks, Herr Mystico smirked, "Hmph! A puny shield is no match for the might of Nazi Lucha!" Grasping the field with both his hands, Herr Mystico lifted the forcefield, with Luna in it, high above his head, like one would a rodent in a hamster ball.

"FLY!" Herr Mystico bellowed as he flung the encased Cure Luna high above his head, sending Luna tumbling through the air before crashing back down on earth.

Stopping to admire his handiwork for a moment, Herr Mystico muttered to himself, "Herman told Herr Mystico that the yellow one was the more powerful of the two. Therefore, it would be most prudent that Herr Mystico eliminates her first!"

Battered and dazed, Cure Solar's slowly struggled back to her feet, her body still sore from Herr Mystico's DDT. Her vision blurry from the pain, she managed to make out the outline of a muscular body walking towards her. "Oh crap," she muttered just before a strong right fist connected hard across her jaw, knocking her off her feet.

"Behold, Mein Fuhrer! Herr Mystico lays waste to your enemies!" Herr Mystico yelled towards the sky before continuing a brutal barrage of punches on Cure Solar.

Unable to fight back, Solar had no choice but to endure the assault until Cure Luna could come to her aid. It was then, when Solar noticed something horrifying; Cure Luna was no where to be found. "T-that idiot! DAMMIT!" thought Solar as she continued suffering abuse at the hands of Herr Mystico.

"And now! THE FINISHER!" screamed Herr Mystico, as he grabbed the nearly broken body of Cure Solar and lifted her high above his head, "POWERBOMB!" he yelled as he drove Solar hard onto the pavement with a sickening thud.

Posing dramatically, Herr Mystico declared, "Bwahaha! Behold the awesome glory of Herr Mystico! Nazi Lucha Libre is invinc-"

"PRETTY CURE! SWORD OF JUSTICE!" yelled a voice from behind Herr Mystico.

Before he could even turn around, Herr Mystico was brought down as he felt a hard metal object clash violently against his knee. "ARGH! W-what was that!" he screamed as he looked at his leg, only to see it bent in sickening fashion, the bone clearly broken, "H-Herr Mystico's leg! YOU HAVE BROKEN HERR MYSTICO'S LEG!"

Watching her adversary writhe in pain on the floor, Cure Luna lifted a crowbar high above her head, a big smile plastered across her face, "Woo hoo! Sword of Justice!"

"H…hey…" moaned Cure Solar weakly, still lying inert on the ground.

"Solar! Oh no, are you ok?" asked Luna, apparently having only just noticed her wounded companion.

"What…what does…it l-look like…you moron…" moaned Solar. Sighing, she forced herself to continue, "Just…just give me…a second…then, I…I want you to give me…that crowbar…gonna break his face…"

Gritting her teeth, Cure Solar slowly forced herself back up, revenge very much on her mind. With help from Cure Luna, Solar finally got herself back on her feet. Taking the crowbar from Luna, Solar quizzed, "Hey…where'd you get this from anyway?"

"Oh! While we were fighting, that guy threw me really high up," Cure Luna said, pointing up towards the sky, "Anyway, while I was up there, I saw that there was a hardware store nearby. So after I recovered, I quickly ran off to buy us a weapon!"

Looking genuinely impressed, Cure Solar conceded, "Heh, looks like you're good for something after all."

"As for you…" said Solar, her sights turning towards the still writhing Herr Mystico, "I believe we have some unfinished business." Raising the crowbar high above her head, Cure Solar approached her fallen enemy, a psychopathic smile plastered across her face.

However, before Solar could make good on her promise of revenge, the sky suddenly darkened, looking like night despite only being 4.30 in the afternoon.

High above, the moon once again glowed a sickly red as a giant Swastika once more etched itself across its surface.

With a violent roar, a great bolt of lightning struck mere meters away from the girls!

When the dust cleared, the two Cures looked in amazement and horror, as half the town had disappeared, having been replaced by a giant, menacing mountain! Atop its highest peak, stood a figure, garbed in brown military garb and a red Swastika armband, his unmistakable moustache bristling in the storming gale.

"MORTALS!" bellowed the figure, his booming voice almost physically pushing Solar and Luna back, "BEFORE YOU STANDS THE ETERNAL LORD OF DARKNESS! THE KING OF 100 DEVILS! I AM THE ENDLESS! I AM THE INFINITE! I AM!"

"ADOLF HITLER!"

The gravity of this declaration hung in the air, as Cure Solar and Cure Luna looked silently upon the face of the most evil tyrant the universe has ever known.

"PUNY, PITIFUL VERMIN! PROSTRATE YOURSELVES BEFORE ME!"

Gathering her nerve and mustering her courage, Cure Solar yelled back at the tyrant, "Oi! Adolf! Screw you!"

"Fool…" muttered Hitler, his voice implausibly booming, despite being muted in volume, "SO BE IT! KNOW THAT YOU DOOM YOURSELF TO DEATH UNENDING! WHEN NEXT WE MEET, DESPAIR AND DARKNESS AWAIT YOU!"

And thus, with a lightning strike that came as suddenly as the first, the figure vanished, along with the mountain he stood on, and Herr Mystico as well.

Slowly, the Swastika on the moon vanished, and the sky began to brighten once more. The town too, looked normal once again, free of any signs of the gruesome battle that took place moments ago.

"Hey, Hayase," Kaede said.

"Hmm? What's up?"

"Look, I'm not keen on this Pretty Cure business, but I still owe that dumbass a crowbar to the face. So until then, I guess I'm in for the ride," said Kaede.

Grinning, Hayase replied, "Awesome!"

"Oh, by the way," continued Hayase, "What are we going to do with your friend over there?" pointing to the still unconscious and inert Akane.

Kaede shrugged and answered, "Eh, leave her."

-  
Ending: _**"Tsuyoki Mono Yo!"**_by True PreCure Impact! BttW Chapter!  
-

**Next Episode Preview**

KAEDE: Damn, this has been a tiring week.

HAYASE: But Kaede! The weekends coming up!

KAEDE: Thank god, I can finally get a break.

HAYASE: That's why I reckon we should go shopping! And I'll bring Akane too!

KAEDE: W-what! NO! Stay the hell away from me!

HAYASE: Whoa! Kaede! Did you see that! A Nazi monster!

KAEDE: Please eat Akane, please eat Akane, please eat Akane…

HAYASE & KAEDE: Next episode! "A Weekend of Endless Strife! The Monstrous Nazaina! " 


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